Unknown Me

I really don't know what Im feeling now. I am sad. I wanna cry. I wanna scream. I wanna hide myself, and sometimes I wanna run to somewhere that nobody know me. I want to be who I wanna be. But, the problem is, I really don't know what I really want for myself. I want to be happy. I am with my family, but it feels like there's something missin' in me.. 😑 I feel like I am incomplete. There's this missing part in my life that I wanted to explore. 😣 I am happy outside and hurting inside.

How would I be happy? How will I know to be happy? I am afraid I will be like this 'til I go back to where my work is. God, help me overcome what I'm feeling right now. It's you whom I can only turn to. In everything in my life, I will give it up to you my Lord.

The One

I've been inlove many times.
All those times, i felt i was loved by them.
But now, i guess i have to wait for my 'the one'.
The one who won't hurt me.
The one who will understands me.
The one who would praise and appreciate everything about me.
The one who'll make everything just to make me happy.
The one who won't dare to look for other girl but me.
The one who will do all that he can do just to make me want him.
The one who will makes my heart flutter everytime i see him or heard his name or even if i'm just talking to him.
The one who will never gets tired of telling me that he loves me.
The one who will tell me everyday that he can't live without me.
The one who'll hands me eleven red roses and one white rose at the middle under the rain.
The one who won't promise me everything but prove to me that love is really magical.
The one who'll hug me every moment I am with him cause for me hug gives comfort and shows more love.
The one who'll kiss me every morning he wakes up.
The one who will accept me as me.
The one who will love my family as much as i love them.
The one who believes in happily ever after.
And most of all,
The one who will be my bestfriend, my brother, my father and my husband forever.
And i know, i'll have to wait a little more time.
I believe in love.
Love was made by God or us to be happy and enjoy everything in it. 
We just have to wait patiently for our 'the one' for everyone has each heart's missing partner.       
And i will wait for him even if it takes forever..

YAM

To the man whom my heart flutters everytime i heard his name.
You are the man i always wanted to be with. The man i dreamed of. The man who unselfishly dedicate his love for me despite the wrongs in our situation. Maybe, being inlove is the only right, yes, maybe. Yet, in the end we've both realized that we made a mistake.
We felt inlove in a rush. No courting, no flowers, no chocolates or anything. With just a constant chat and understanding, we didnt know that we had fallen into each other. We may know what we are doing but we didnt know how to control our feelings for a love doesn't need to planned. The moment i set my eyes of you, i didn't know you'll own a big part of me. I didnt know you'll going to complete me even for a short period of time. You've given me so much to remember, especially the Love i felt for you. You didnt how you affected me from day one 'til now. You didnt know how much happiness you gave me even if i know we won't be having our forever. Every moment i spent with you was written in my memory and will be cherished forever by me. You may have your own true love but for me you are my one true Love.
I couldn't think much what had happened to us. I could barely breath knowing this is the end of us, then, I realized it's because of my actions, yes it is. Forgive me if i did it. Im sorry.
Just being US is enough for me. Just US, being inlove with each other is heaven for me.  But in our current situation, Love won't work anymore. Other's feeling is involved, and im sorry for that. I had made a very wrong move. Im sorry. Pardon me of writing this again. For a woman like me who fights alone, no one to talk to, nor share this thoughts i had, nor cry out the pain i had, only writing is my way of venting out.  Im sorry. Please allow me to say this for the last time YAM, ILOVEYOUSOOOMUCH. IMISSYOU. IWILLMISSYOU forever. Take care always.
                                  
You were once my strength, now you are my weakness.
You were once mine, now you are not mine.

You are mine.
No,You were mine.